A Real Chinese Invasion – a Thought Experiment

If they came in ships, it would be different – not so much

What if the Chinese, instead of  deliberately sending a deadly virus into our midst—the paranoid fantasy Trump is trying to sell—they launched an amphibious assault on the West Coast,  in an effort to establish a beachhead in North America from which they can conduct attacks deeper into the land. Trump cries foul, saying that the Chinese never warned us of an impending attack (whose imminence has been visible in the shape of ships gathering at the shore for a week), and goes on to assign the job of fighting off the attackers to the states of California, Oregon, and Washington, with whatever armaments and soldiers they have available.  He assigns Jared Kushner the role of coordinating the effort.  The federal government will act as a “backstop” for supplies as the need arises, but each state will have to stop whining about their predicament and make its own case to receive the supplies.  While asking, the states should demonstrably show their gratitude—whether or not they get what they are asking for. Just in case they might want something in the future.

The President will hold daily briefings to deny that the scale of the invasion is anything to worry about, and that if it gets much bigger the states should  get a Magic Potion that he knows of to slow down the aggressors . . . and wait until bad weather discourages the occupiers  (“like a miracle”) and sends them home—a victory for which Donald Trump will claim all the credit. Reporters’ questions about the administration’s response will be called too “nasty” to be answered. The nasty press will be accused of spreading “fake news.” People within government who express doubts about the administration’s response will be fired or reassigned to musty basements with no access to their colleagues.

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